Or my kid got an A and her kid got a B+, therefore I am okay. Or I have a nice car / a rich husband and she does not. Or I am going to be looking all over the place for someone to oppress… someone I can take apart so I can feel better about myself, ala “I am skinnier than her!” For example, if I can look in the mirror and see my (perceived) body flaws or examine my personality and have awareness of my various foibles, and accept them, then I’ll be able to do the same for you.īut if I can’t do this, then I am going to be looking all over the place for someone to project upon. I think the capacity one has to love another in completely contingent on their capacity to love themselves. How and what do you work on within and without yourself to finally be in a place to recognize, cherish and honor a true love?
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